OK, so the foolish FaceLift is on the nose at the moment, so, to break the ice, and change the subject somewhat, here’s piece for all the ‘discernment’ ministries to dissect.


The thing is, is religious humour and satire acceptable?

25 thoughts on “Icebreaker

  1. Hi,

    This video might be a bit over the top but I’ve seen worse!

    As far as your questions are concerned I think as long as the humor and satire isn’t mocking God or blaspheming the Holy Ghost then I suppose its ok….

  2. Well. It’s nice to find your warming here to Signpost Phil. I’m looking forward to hearing more from your brain and your experiences in life. I’ve seen Achmed before. But I enjoyed watching it again.

  3. Its fairly easy to laugh at another religion, bit harder to see the joke when the target is your own one.

    There’s some good jokes that came out of the Toronto blessing, after all that was all about laughter. There was a video of Ken Copeland and Rodney Howard-Browne of a service where they told a joke to each other in tongues. Unfortunately it appears to have disappeared from youtube and godtube.

    Kenneth Copeland then speaks to Rodney, while speaking in tongues. Facing Kenneth Copeland, Rodney answered him in tongues apparently understanding what he said. Copeland then laughs in response, Rodney laughs back as if they understand each others tongue. And it is a joke (rightly so) this goes on for a great portion of the service.

    AH HAHAHA ROFLMAO!!!! … I guess you had to be there.

  4. I think we have to laugh at ourselves from time to time, or we become so serious about stuff it’s deadly.

    There’s an intensity to ‘discernment’ which is frighteningly stern and accusative.

    “There is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk after the flesh, but after the Spirit”. Rom:8:1

    “For God did not send his Son into he world to condemn te world, but so tat the world, through him, might be saved”. John 3:17

  5. Yep Religious humour & Satire are absolutely acceptable! [so many comedians spring to mind-Dave Allen esp]-They help us remember how ridiculous and incomprehensible so many of humanitys religious concerns actually are, especially when viewed impartially.

    ‘Love Achmed the dead terrorist- he actually makes perfect sense to me, and the humour is quite innocent, though it often refers to so many very dark and nasty practices by various religious groups here; wry and cynical, but ultimately alot of fun, and very commonly understood by people-which says something about religious notoriety!

    Even my baby kid has seen this, and he is fond of saying…”Konck-knock” (whos there?)
    “Achmed!-I KILL YOU!” which has everyone falling over with laughter!

    Ah, if God didnt have humour himself, we wouldnt have inherited it.


  6. “Ah, if God didnt have humour himself, we wouldnt have inherited it.”

    I have proof that God does not have a sense of humour. He made me.

  7. “I WILL see you one day, and your Goofiness will proclaim Gods righteous humour!”

    [he stated flatly, glaring through his monocle, and sprinkling holy-water furiously on the supplicant]

    “God keep you well brother–Heres to freedom in Christ!”- tink, chug-a-lug……

    …..[places glass considerately in he sink for Frau-Zeppelin to wash..]

    “Gute Nacht!”- Zeppelin clicked his heels with odd formality, and left.


  8. Ok, Typical religious humour follows;

    On the first day, God created the dog and said: __’Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’ __The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’ __So God agreed. __

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said: __’Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’ __The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’ __And God agreed. __

    On the third day, God created the cow and said: __’You must go into the fiel d with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a lif e span of sixty years.’ __The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’ __And God agreed again. __

    On the fourth day, God created man and said: __’Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you tw enty years.’ __But man said : ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten _the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’ __’Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’ _

    _So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. __Life has now been explained to you.

    “Ah, Sharing is caring, friends!”


  9. Hmm… That’s an old favourite! Thanks for reminding me of it. It brings back memories.

  10. “Knock-knock!
    Who’s there?
    Achmed-I KILL YOU!!- hahaha!, ..,heh, heh,..”

    ..Zeppelin chuckled softly as he painfully limped across the huge polished flagstones of the decaying Schloss. His visible eye shone reflectively as he pondered whether ‘The devil could really read his thoughts’ or not;…”.Nein!, what a stupid thing to worry about, ja?”…

    , and he returned to the problem of mentally constructing in his mind a block of theological jargonese nonsense so intricate and overwhelmingly confusing and convoluted that it would impress other people into thinking hat he was a respectable genius instead of being actually a static, blockheaded, useless ass!…..

    “Ach, zo!”- he had an idea!…….and he hurried over, as quickly as any desperately semi-crippled maniac could, to the giant painting that hung over the fireplace big enough to drive an Mercedes A140 into…

    And there hung an image of a gigantic spectral Horse with glowing, fiery-red eyes….

    Ach….” the Haunter of the Falkensteins!…..”

    he regarded this for some time, and then, as he turned to leave, a soft, wailing whinny seemed to reverberate across the gigantic hallway…

    “…..its,. just another silly myth!”

    The ghostly whinny echoed again,…seemingly closer….

    Zeppelin froze in panic.

    Then, as if from far away, thundering steel-shod hooves began to echo in the darkness….

    Zeppelin now began to hurry to the nearest bomb-shelter!


    “Nein!-Himmel!…k-keep away!!..’-the frightened despot lurched, fell against the giant table-stand, which crashed, splintering on the floor…

    “EeeeeyaahhhahhhhhhhwhinnniiiihhhhhhhhhhYyyyyyy!!!”, and Zeppelin got up and Ran!

    …”….Vot!?- I can run again-!!- Gott be praised!”


    and the gigantic equine beast burst into view;…on its back, a terrifying figure;… was Frau-Zeppelin, back from her evening ride-

    “- Vot do you think you’re doing?!- Get der children to bed!!!!”

    “Ja!, ja mein liebe!…”

    and Zeppelin knew that at last, his blogging days were probably over.




    “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a Lightbulb?”

    1-I cant find a scripture for that.
    2-none, the lightbulb has to want to change.
    3-none, the Holy Spirit actually changes the lightbulb
    4-Actually, the Holy Spirit transforms the lightbulb.
    5-The lightbulb has to be the right sort of lightbulb.
    6-It depends whether the lightbulb has been predestined by God.
    7-The lightbulb needs to hear the Gospel first.

    It seems utterly stupid in hindsight to make these answers mutually-exclusive, as all the above are true, and involved in some proportion in the lightbulbs conversion!

    And yet I wonder that:

    8-The lightbulb isnt human, its worn-out, so just one is necessary!


  12. Oh I love those jokes! My lutheran passed on some good lutheran jokes:

    How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    … Change?

    How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. We’ll fix it! My grandmother donated that lightbulb…

    Let me try the pentecostal lightbulb jokes:

    How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Don’t know. It depends how many put money in the offering to get it replaced.

    How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They know the lightbulb has enough faith to fix itself.

    How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. Unless the lightbulb blew up on stage somewhere obvious.

  13. Ooo… I like this one… >:-)

    How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    The entire congregation after they hear it preached biblically:

    Sermon Title: Becoming a Lightbulb Church- Changing the Bulb (Series 1/3)
    Message: Christ is the light, we are the bulb
    Conclusion: We need to change the bulb for Him so He can turn us on!

  14. “Haahhahahahhahahahhahahahah!………ooooo-, dangerous and bitter truths dear Specks&planks- love the Lutheran ones especially!”

    “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They know the lightbulb has enough faith to fix itself.”—–such familiar turf!- funny that God should point this out to me this morning, and a very telling reflection!

    Maybe it should go;

    “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -What lightbulb?”


  15. “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    -Come and find out at the Next Big Event!”


  16. “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?”
    Well if you buy their books and CD’s, you too can learn how to change ANYTHING when you become effective and influential in leadership!

    Yeah… I updated the previous joke. It now cuts more to the bone. Oh, it makes me laugh at myself!
    I’ll be doing exactly that in a few weeks.

  17. BTW. I love that one Zepp. I’ll share these at our next bible study. We all come from various denominations and we’ll all find these a cack.

  18. “How many Pentecostal Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Lets call down Gods fire from heaven, and just bask in His presence then, YOU will be able to change a lightulb!”

    -Is the kind of talk we presently get in our Sunday gatherings!


  19. But on the other hand this is very poor humour and I do not condone this foolishness at all :

  20. How many christians does it take to change a lightglobe?

    Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

    Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

    Presbyterians: None. Lights will go off and on at predestined times.

    Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

    Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

    Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.

    Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.

    Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

    Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light bulb is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

    Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

    Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

    Amish: What’s a light bulb?

  21. Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

    Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

    Q:How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A:Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!

    Q:How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A:Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman!

    Q. How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. Three, but they’re really one.

    Q. How many Quakers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. Ten to sit around in a circle until one feels the inner light.

    Q. How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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