I suppose I’m writing this quick article in a bit of a dreary state. I’m writing this because I’ve been experiencing really weird inward movements in me. The supernatural is being stirred up in my life and I’ve witnessed some petty intense and amazing things this year. I feel priveleged and honoured, yet terrified with where God wants me to go with my life with Him. Yet the entire time I feel I’m progressing, the more obvious I see the dead works of men and women in the church combined with toxic heresies. There is a rage within me that mourns. I feel defeated that man is purposely squashing men and women who are on fire for God and I can’t do anything about it. It feels like I can no longer hide it, and it doesn’t feel like emotion. God wants me to be more active in my walk with Him.
Believe it or not, I think with my head. *gasps* And I live by the quote “Let passion drive you but let reason hold the reigns”. But I am not identifying these feelings being tied to emotion. Nor do I find it is my head getting in the way (I thought it was the latter). It is something much deeper within me. It is something that is indeed spiritual within me. God is indeed speaking to me.
I hate the very evil that Solomon sees and talks about in his own time in Ecclesiastes:
Ecc 10:5-7 There is an evil I have seen under the sun, the sort of error that arises from a ruler: Fools are put in many high positions, while the rich occupy the low ones. I have seen slaves on horseback, while princes go on foot like slaves.
If someone can prove me wrong in my accusations that I have against people who I perceive as false brethren, then I’d be more happy and be more then willing to repent of my actions. But only if proven wrong and have my mis-understanding corrected. But now that I’m kinda facilitating Signposts, I don’t feel afraid anymore to be more open in general to others. Let me shout it out:
BEING WRONG IS OK!!! It’s not an unforgivable sin. Dust yourself off, apologise and walk with greater understanding in your spirit. This is a church condition I am being healed from! And finally, it’s losing it’s grip on me. Am I now weak and considered useless because I am willing to learn that I can be wrong?
But it’s this ‘natural’ feeling that is much deeper then my emotion that I want to talk about. I’ve noticed that it has carved my character and is literally turning me into a work of fiction (for the good). I’m feeling completely natural but living some how supernaturally. When some Christians live a few days ‘in the spirit’, I’ve heard some circles call the circumstance ‘spirit-high’. This is what I’m feeling. And the other weekend I was waiting to come down again like previous times.
Then one day someone told me ‘Why do you expect that you’re going to come down?’. So I haven’t come down since. I’m delving into understanding the basics of the supernatural and am starting to see some things that now I refuse to try and figure out. They’re too bizarre. Odd salvations, healings, curses, spiritual rubbish and filth. Maybe God can teach me the significance of some of those things as I plod along.
However, the more outdoors and more involved with the community I am, the more my senses become alive in an odd way. Spiritually, I guess. Last night, I remember asking God completely where He was. I couldn’t see him in the park but I could definitely feel him. Next thing I know, bright silver wings burst out from behind a homeless man’s back. The wings lowered and embraced the homeless man completely. I smiled and hung out with the man for a few hours. Allot happened. God’s manifestation made my night.
So I’m finding I’m turning into someone I want to be but not, all at the same time. It’s like a Holy Spirit rollercoaster ride:
I’m dreading the climb and anticipation of the fall, but the same time excited by the adventure of it all.
I’ve known my rights as a Christian for a long time (you are a: son, righteous, holy, forgiven, etc), but it’s not that. It feels like I am now being aware of my natural being in Christ. The healings that God has used me for came from a place within me that seemed to say ‘that shoud not be’. It was a quickening. An impulse. An urgency or compassion. It was a natural response to something that was unnatural on my God-like brother. It’s from this natural place from within me, which would have to be the Holy Spirit speaking to my spirit, that makes me just act on impulse when God wants to heal. The point of all this topic is to reflect on Christianity as a whole. Do you naturally feel born again? When you do sin, do you hate the sin committed? Is the hatred of sin and sickness to you a natural response? Have you ever acted on your new spiritual instincts?
One thing that has really made me aware of my new nature in Christ has been in conversations I’ve had with Him. When you let it all out, whether it be tears, frustration, anger, paranoia, stress or boredom, he will speak. The more time you spend being real before your creator, the more evidently real He will be in your life. When you are being real before Him, you are behaving naturally like the human being he created you to be, dependent on Him. Jesus was dependent on His Father the same way we’re meant to be. He will affirm who He has made you and where He wants you to go.
When God does re-affirm your calling it is an incredible sacred feeling. It’s a place where only you can go with Him where no angel or other person will ever go. It’s a privilege that becomes alive; a blessed burden that will make people know that God is with us. And to ourselves, it will become a strong and sacred memory that will be a living testimony that will empower the generations after us. A memory that makes us thank God for being their every step of the way.
We all sense a call to do great things and we’re all afraid to act on it. Don’t be afraid to be wrong. Signposts has great things about it and some bad things about it. One of the bad things about it (which I noticed I have applied to my Christian walk by accident), is a fearful mentality of doing something wrong. I have been so critical of leadership that I think it’s not healthy for me to lead. This is because my views on what a leader HAS TO BE is unrealistic. Don’t forget that each and every one of us can be lead by the Spirit. Any day of the week, He can call you to look after the poor, heal the sick or teach to the lost Christian simpleton. You never know when he wants you to lead or bring together a team of Christians to do the work he has called you for. Be ready!
So the more I look at where SignPosts can go, the more excited I’m getting. I love peoples opinions. I love seeing how peoples character’s are continually formed through post after post. It’s a real privelege to share my heart and thoughts with your hearts and thoughts. I guarantee we will all come across touchy articles and biff with various views and doctrines. I suppose RavingPente left a mark on me.
This is what I believe the ‘natural’ church is to be:
Embracers of the new dawn of each day. Nomad’s that stir from deep, well-earned slumber. Traveling the lands, bumping into various tribes and peoples, exploring new smells, traditions, experiences- both good and bad. Yet always knowing that all these things were foreshadowing something greater when their time was up. Being free-agents all over the earth, they are the pagans that are now spiritually reborn as pure beings that have the authority to expel wickedness from lands, deliver the possessed, heal ancient rivers, restore sick wells, provide food for the starving, restore natural order, protect the land and move in the power of reconciliation and conservation. The roamers carry in their eyes the wisdom of their forefathers and the Father of their forefathers Spirit, their great Ancestor. They are at peace in their spirit and know when to be responsible and accountable and when to be free and joyful. Each individual nomad change like the wind to fit in with the landscape and cultural landscape to make others aware of the Great Ancestor who created them and all living things. Each nomad will bump into other nomads along the way temporarily sharing each others burdens, pains, confessions, tears and emotions. But essentially every wanderer will walk with all men and point and guide others to follow their Ancestor and their Ancestor alone.
God bless. Don’t know why I felt like writing this. If anything interesting has popped up out of anything I said, feel free to add or share some thing to confirm or to bless others with. I hope everyone on Signposts not only continues to exercise discernment and grow in the doctrines of God, but also grow naturally in their spiritual walk with God.
Before I go, I want to share this scripture I found by accident. I think it may have been God given as it was just above the above verse:
Ecc 10:4 If a ruler’s anger rises against you, do not leave your post; calmness can lay great errors to rest.
That’s why we have SignPosts! Be on your guard. Guard your heart above all things!
Consider the speck. Consider the plank.