Local Church Full Of Brainwashed Idiots Feeds Town’s Poor Every Week


MACON, GA—Sources confirmed today that the brainwashed morons at First Baptist Assembly of Christ, all of whom blindly accept whatever simplistic fairy tales are fed to them, volunteer each Wednesday night to provide meals to impoverished members of the community. “Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in town who have fallen on hard times and are unable to afford to put food on the table, so we try to help out as best we can,” said 48-year-old Kerri Bellamy, one of the mindless sheep who adheres to a backward ideology and is incapable of thinking for herself, while spooning out homemade shepherd’s pie to a line of poor and homeless individuals. “It feels great to share our blessings with the less fortunate. Plus, it’s fun to work alongside all the members of our [corrupt institution of propaganda and lies] who come out each week.” As of press time, the brainless, unthinking lemmings had donated winter clothing they no longer wore to several needy families and still hadn’t opened their eyes to reality.


33 thoughts on “Local Church Full Of Brainwashed Idiots Feeds Town’s Poor Every Week

  1. We’ve been collecting food daily for the poor for a couple of years.

    You don’t have to be brainwashed idiots.

  2. Muslims feeding the poor in Dallas, Texas

    A group of Muslims have set about feeding the impoverished communities in the city of Dallas, Texas, USA.

    World Bulletin / News Desk

    A leading mosque in Dallas, Texas, USA, has been feeding the poor and needy people of the city for months, granting the local community of both Muslims and non-Muslims alike 15,000 free meals on a weekly basis.

    Muhammad Abdul-Jami, the treasurer of the Islam Mosque told the Christian Science Monitor, “it was borne out of a need because our area is poverty stricken; there are homeless shelters in the area, there are people sleeping under bridges, and so on.”

    http://www.worldbulletin.net/?aType=haber&ArticleID=121692

  3. The poor brainwashed lemmings in the post are probably following the non-authentic Old Testament principles from Isaiah, which is not a real book of the Bible and wasn’t actually written when they say it was, and is not reliable as scripture, despite turning up in the Dead Sea scrolls, nor was it God who spoke to holy men of old to teach on the true fast He required of His people.

    Isaiah 58
    6 “Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke?
    7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
    8 Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
    9 Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ “If you take away the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
    10 If you extend your soul to the hungry And satisfy the afflicted soul, Then your light shall dawn in the darkness, And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
    11 The LORD will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
    12 Those from among you Shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.

    So these sad creatures spooning out life-saving soup and giving away bread to the destitute are acting completely on the wrong premises proposed by Old Testament prophets who were just making things up as they went along.

    Tragic.

  4. So Isaiah wasnt done way with by the new covenant, its only the harsh bits involving murder that Jesus changed.

  5. The wages of sin is death, wazza. That has never changed. If you want to call God a murderer for being a righteous Judge, it’s your prerogative. It’s His life to give. It’s yours to forfeit.

  6. I say the writers make god into a murderer. That must be too hard for you to understand.

    You wont answer but will launch into another villifying attack on my spiritual state but if I said God told me to cut the throat of your neighbours and family members over say abortion you’ d rightly think I was deranged.

    The bible says it and its divine justice.

  7. Full gospel tabernacle church, Friday.

    A 100% Bible believing full gospel, ridgy-didge, ol-time holy-ghost filled church has just somehow lost their Pastor, James koots to snake bite.

    They could not have been decieved because they believe literally in the Bible, which is of course written by God himself, and He never lies. Jesus said very clearly that one of the signs of a believer is:
    they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all;

    The congregation is therefore not putting themselves or their children in any danger because they are following the Bible, and a damn sight more closely than most other Christians.

    The search for a new Pastor has been concluded and Coots son has taken up the calling. They wanted to have snakes at the funeral, but decided not to in case it was dangerous for the staff of the funeral home who might not be christians

  8. Btw I don’t collect food for the poor because of what the prophets said 2500 years ago.

    I do it because people need food.

  9. Wazza, you haven’t proven anything with that. Many people interpret things differently.

    I think you’re being silly with the snake thing.

    There have only been a very few people in thousands of years who have interpreted mark that way. For you to say that there’s is the correct interpretation is interesting to say the least.

  10. ok, sorry Wazza, been using iPhone lately so I couldn’t get into long answers. getting back to your question up there.

    First, regardless of what people say about the later addition of Mark 16, I have no problem believing that Jesus said it, and that it can be taken literally.

    Let’s look at it again. You and the snake handlers interpret it quite differently and unnecessarily to me.

    This is the way you are reading it and they are interpreting it.

    These signs will absolutely always follow absolutely everyone through history who believes.

    I don’t take that interpretation and neither have 99.999 percent of Christians.

    As for Judas, I think both passages are okay, and not mutually exclusive.

    But let me say this. Saying that I believe that the Bible is the Word of God and inspired doesn’t mean that I can answer and explain every single verse at the top of my head.

    Some things I have changed my mind over, some things I am not sure.

    But if in a discussion I have to answer every single hard to understand part, then one thread will be taken over by question after question.

    I believe in the gospel records. I also believe that people in the first and second centuries made distinctions between a record in the life of Jesus and a fable of Aesop.

    So I have problems with your idea that people back then had no sense of history or wouldn’t question whether a Bible account happened or not.

    It also needs to be said that while you and Greg believe in the resurrection of Christ, and Bones …well I don’t know – he did a few months ago, many historians, scientists and intellectuals would put the resurrection on the same level as whether or not Moses existed.

    There not being historical or archeological evidence for some things written in the Bible, is not reason for me to not accept them.

    If there were no digital evidence etc of things now, I don’t know how much evidence there would be that a team won the state of origin last year, if we were hunting back in time in 3000 years time from now. But especially when you are talking about deserts and huge periods when people would use ancient landmarks as target practice – yes even the British soldiers last century, for me I’m convinced by whatever CURRENT research suggests.

    If you like I could prepare a list of things in the Bible that were thought to have not existed by scholars 150 years ago because of lack of archeological evidence but were later proven to be true because someone eventually found something, I could do it.

    iow, I don’t base everything I believe on the current state of science in 1853 or 1946 or 2014.
    It’s early days yet.

    as for Genesis, I really know nothing about science. So I don’t go there. I believe King David existed, as did Moses, and Abraham, and I believe there was an Adam and an Eve.

    As for the rest, give me another 30 years to think about it and read.

    I personally don’t think its necessary to believe that the Earth didn’t exist 6000 years ago, and think Ken Ham is doing Christianity a disservice by his dogmatic viewpoint.

    As for evolution, I think it should be taught. No problem. I am not for pushing for intelligent Design or anything like that to be taught in public schools etc. Simply because you can cover that in a few sentences. “The other idea is that God created everything suddenly”.

    But when universities are teaching differently sciences on the basis of evolution than that is what should be taught. In education the only reasonable thing to do is teach that which the majority of scientists agree at that time – even if that changes 20 or 200 years down the track.

    What is frustrating here is the continual what about this what about that, ranging from some verse in Exodus to some minister in the appalachians, to a sect 400 years ago. It’s so hard to cover everything and answer everything.

    But, yes, I believe in the Bible. And I think people have the right to differ in their opinions.

    I think a simple reading of the life of Jesus should show us that people have been getting it wrong about their interpretations of Bible passages from way back and will continually do so.

    The disciples misunderstood Jesus on what he said a few days before, so I am open to the fact that Christians might be wrong now.

    Just don’t think I’m not familiar with liberal theology. My teachers didn’t believe in the resurrection and thought Paul’s defence of it was pathetic. They were also open to the fact that the enemies of Paul and the writer of the Epistles of John were the true orthodox and Paul was the heretic. So, I’ve heard a lot of different stuff!

    But probably like you and Bones, I know what it is to be disappointed in the charismatic world. But I’ve also disappointed myself for that matter. And I know what it is to have massive doubts.

    Seems to me that a lot of people in their 40s and 50s are either in ministry or have dropped out of church. It’s been a crazy ride.

  11. Snake handling in church is not an extremely rare thing, it is a tradition in some parts of the Appalacians. There would be hundreds of families practicing or at least viewing it. It has been done for over a century, and some churches even require it as evidence of salvation. It is part of the identity of some churches and families.

    From wikipedia:

    In 2001, about 40 small churches practiced snake handling, most of them considered to be holiness-Pentecostals or charismatics. In 2004, there were four snake handling congregations in the provinces of Alberta and British Columbia, Canada. Like their predecessors, today’s snake handlers believe in a strict and literal interpretation of the Bible, and most Church of God with Signs Following churches are non-denominational, believing that denominations are human-made and carry the Mark of the Beast. Worshipers attend services several nights a week, where if the Holy Spirit “intervenes”, services can last up to five hours; the minimum is usually ninety minutes.

  12. Let have a look at the two passages on Judas’ death

    By hanging (Matthew 27:3-8)“Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!” 5And he threw the pieces of silver into the sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself. 6And the chief priests took the pieces of silver and said, “It is not lawful to put them into the temple treasury, since it is the price of blood.” 7And they counseled together and with the money bought the Potter’s Field as a burial place for strangers. 8For this reason that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day.”

    By falling (Acts 1:16-19)“Brethren, the Scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit foretold by the mouth of David concerning Judas, who became a guide to those who arrested Jesus. 17″For he was counted among us, and received his portion in this ministry.” 18(Now this man acquired a field with the price of his wickedness; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle and all his bowels gushed out. 19And it became known to all who were living in Jerusalem; so that in their own language that field was called Hakeldama, that is, Field of Blood.)”

    Now the basic elements of the story are there in each version. Judas died, there was a field called the Field of Blood, and it was purchased by the pieces of silver that Judas received.

    But the first version has Judas giving the silver to the priests and hanging himself, with the field being called the ‘Field of Blood’ because it was purchased with money obtained by betraying innocent blood.

    The second version has Judas buying the field, falling down and dying in it, and for that reason the field was called the Field of Blood.

    These two versions are not really compatible, how could Judas have acquired the field if he had given the money to the priests? And if he had hung himself, why would the second account say that he fell headlong into the field and burst his guts?

    There are always arguments you can make, and scenarios to put forward whereby the two statements could be true – but they are unlikely and at the very least would make the Biblical accounts misleading about the truth – not telling the whole truth.

    These types of contradictions in my view should lay to rest the claim that the Bible is always historically accurate.

  13. “Snake handling in church is not an extremely rare thing,”

    I think it is an extremely rare thing. So you are saying something practiced in about 40 tiny churches in one part of one country for a hundred years isn’t rare?

    That makes them extremely rare as a percentage of Christians who have lived. No, I’d say that’s pretty rare. Wanna place bets on whether there’s more Muslims living in Melbourne who want Sharia Law in Australia than snake handlers in the world?

    Tom Jones has probably slept with more women than there are snake handlers. Come on Wazza……

  14. Wazza I am completely aware of the two accounts.

    But before I explain why I think they are not mutually exclusive, let me say this.

    First you say]
    “These two versions are not really compatible”

    Then you said,
    “There are always arguments you can make, ….but they are unlikely”

    Okay, so even if I make an argument, you can dismiss it by being unlikely anyway.
    So what’s the point. Something being “Unlikely to Wazza doesn’t mean it’s not a valid explanation.

    There’s probably no point in giving possible explanations if just being unlikely in the mind of Wazza means it’s not valid and you stick stubbornly to your opinion that the two accounts are completely different.

    “would make the Biblical accounts misleading about the truth – not telling the whole truth.”

    No here i disagree with this too. If that’s the case, and each account of everything that happened to Jesus has to involve every detail in order than I have no idea why you believe in the resurrection.

    I also think reporters covering a football match or the academy awards will have to just copy everything that anyone else writes.

  15. But okay, here goes, and you are more than welcome to say that my explanation is unlikely or doesn’t satisfy you. That’s fine.

    First, the more detailed account shows that chief priests and Elders got together and bought a field with the money that Judas gave them.

    I accept this as historical fact. I see that as not being incompatible with using the expression that Judas acquired a field with the price of his wickedness..

    Now you would only accept this as being right if the Acts version said.

    “and Judas acquired a field with the price of his wickedness, in that the chief priests and elders actually carried out a transaction to buy a field using the price of Judas’s wickedness after discussing it for a while”

    See I don’t think that is necessary.

    But even then while it says that chief priests and elders discussed it, I don’t really know if they all of those who discussed it went en masse to the owner of the field or to the real estate agent and all said that they wanted to buy it in the name of Judas or in the name of the “Chief Priests and Elders Collective”, or the “Peoples Represented by Chief Priests and Elders Liberation Front” or whatever, and I don’t have any idea of what kind of receipt was issued or who kept the receipt.

    And probably if there is no receipt in any archives or any of the latest archeological digs, some here might question whether any transaction actually took place.

    But for me, I trust the record written close to the times. And I don’t think people in the first or second centuries (depending on when you are 100% sure that Acts and Matthew were written) would have seen any discrepancy.

    Okay. I think Judas hung himself. I also think his body fell and his stomach was ripped open.

    Now, you think that’s impossible. Many people say it’s possible.

    I think you could say peoples lives in New York were taken when planes were crashed into a building.
    Others might say of the same people that their bodies were destroyed in the collapse of the building. I wouldn’t say that either statement negates the other.

    On the other hand, my above explanation is so incredibly unlikely to you that you want to say that it’s impossible and proof that the Bible isn’t history. But, strangely enough, you are also one who simply can not believe that Bush didn’t have anything to do with 9/11 or maybe you also thing one or several buildings were purposely detonated.

    So, I end up having to argue with people often who simply can not accept that planes were flown into a building and buildings collapsed. So you see Mr Wazza, some people find lots of different things unlikely.

    But that’s where people differ i suppose.

    I even think it’s a fair statement that snake handlers are a rarity in Christianity. I still think that statement is valid. You on the other hand think 40 tiny churches made up of families in the rural mountains of the US shouldn’t be thought of as a rare thing. I would have no problem in the world explaining to Buddhists or aliens that number of snake handlers is completely insignificant.

    Or at least “rare”.

    But perhaps we should have a few articles discussing the meaning of the word “rare”?

  16. My cousin dies from a king brown bite.

    It’s no different to putting a gun to your head and saying “God will save me”.

    BANG!

  17. Okay I’ve taken the liberty to edit you post. I think this makes more sense.

    Snake handling in church is EXTREMELY RARE,

    1. !t is a tradition in some parts of the Appalacians. (ask the good people of the world to point out the Appalacians on a map.
    2,There would be HUNDREDS of families practicing or at least viewing it.
    (Now it’s hundreds of FAMILIES and you can’t even say how many of them aren’t just viewers. So, could you tell me exactly HOW MANY actual snake handlers there are now, who handle snakes each week? And since you good at math, give me a rough percentage of the current Christian population of the world. What do you get Mr Maths?)

    3. “It has been done for over a century,” Right. Not 300 years? 500? And mostly by the current snake handlers grandpappies??? Come on Wazza.

    4. In 2001, about 40 small churches practiced snake handling,.. (40? small? how small? 200 people each? Nah, go take a look again.these churches are kind of small. Do you know how many churches there are in the US? In the world right now? How many Christians do you know who have actually been to a snake handling service? One in 10? One in 100? One in 1000? One in 10,000? Guess what Wazza. I’ll bet you that less than one in a million Christians has actually gone to a snake handling service. But one in a million you wouldn’t call extremely rare. Okay, can I say “quite rare”? “Fairly rare?” or would you like to argue that one too.

    5. In 2004, there were four snake handling congregations in the provinces of Alberta and British Columbia, Canada.
    (Oh my God. There everywhere. Do they have branches in the Vatican and HIllsong?

    In case you don’t get my point, I think snake handling Christians are very rare. In fact, I’ll even come up against the might of Wikipedia, and even use the force of WIkepedia to make the stunning claim that the number of people who have handled poisonous snakes in churches since that first day on Pentecost is “extremely rare”.

    Yes, extremely rare.

    But if one comes to my suburb, I’ll probably check it out, so maybe I should get on some kind of emailing list….

  18. But, yes, I believe that Paul picked up a snake and was unharmed. I think that passage in Acts was history. I think both the island, the snake, and the fire existed. And the boat that got him there.

    But, I don’t know where the wreckage of the boat is. But, if you say I shouldn’t believe that Paul went to that island because they haven’t found the boat, and neither was the account written up in any Island newspaper, then I disagree.

    Niether do I think that the account was just a fable to show that…..while miracles don’t happen, Paul was able to overcome hardships in life and we too should figuratively shake off figurative snake-like problems in life – well,I’d say you’re better off sticking to Aesops fables and the Brothers Grimm. They’ve got a lot of cool things to say too.

  19. Most of the cities of the conquest have been excavated and there is no evidence of a conquest. Including Jericho.

    Then you have textual discrepencies like In Joshua 11, for example, the Israelite forces completely annihilate the city of Hazor: “they put to the sword all who were in it, utterly destroying them; there was no one left who breathed, and he burned Hazor with fire.” If that were true, why is it that in the next book, Judges, the Canaanites still very much live in and control Hazor, under their king Jabin, whose powerful army afflicted and oppressed the Israelites (Judges 4)?

  20. Why would the Bible say that Judas acquired the field when it was the Priests and Elders who bought it, and he was probably dead at the time?

    And did he wait for the Priests to buy the field and then go and hang himself in it, so that he could fall down into it? Or did they find his body and then throw him into the field from a great height?

    If both stories are compatible then the Biblical accounts are at best not telling the whole truth, and are therefore not historical accounts.

  21. Look Q, I can argue all night about whether 40 churches is ‘extremely rare’, ‘rare’ or not rare at all. The point is that it is a deeply held belief and interpretation for some people. They had to have a law against handling snakes in churches in Alabama and a few other states, and they made it a capital offence in Virginia.

    Strange how you get into deep textual analysis when arguing with me, but where the Bible is concerned you just automatically give it a free pass. So the BIble can say Judas bought a field and fell in it, and at the same time gave the money away and hanged himself – and you say – oh yeah that makes sense, but then you go into elaborate pains to be precise on the meaning of ‘extremely rare’

    Straining at gnats and swallowing camels?

  22. Snake handling churches were never very successful in Australia.

    King Browns, Copperheads, Death Adders, Red bellied blacks, tigers and taipans make snakes from all around the world look like pussies.

    Now this is a snake from my old hunting hole.

  23. Okay, Wazza, argued that snake handlers are the real biblical literalists.

    I said people who interpret Mark 16 to mean that Christians should go out of their way to handles snakes are extremely rare.

    You argued with me. So I answered you. And i stand by saying that my interpretation of Mark 16 is different to theirs and why I think they are wrong.

    I think these people are wrong and also that they are extremely rare.

    Next.

    “Why would the Bible say that Judas acquired the field when it was the Priests and Elders who bought it, and he was probably dead at the time?”

    I don’t know why there is particular wording for every passage. I think people are free to use different expressions. Some passages say that Christ was crucified. Some say he lay down his life. There are very many ways of explaining the same thing. The priests and Elders bought a field with money that was basically Judas’s. I don’t see a conflict. I could spend my time giving examples of the way the same event is worded, but perhaps you wouldn’t agree.

    “And did he wait for the Priests to buy the field and then go and hang himself in it, so that he could fall down into it?”

    I don’t know the particular order. I don’t think it matters.

    “Or did they find his body and then throw him into the field from a great height?”

    I don’t know if they did. I assume he hung himself and then his body fell at the time or later.

    “If both stories are compatible then the Biblical accounts are at best not telling the whole truth, and are therefore not historical accounts.”

    No, I don’t agree at all. But I don’t think either of the accounts was designed to write a complete step by step outline of the final days of Judas life. Neither say what he was wearing or what time of day he died or what the weight of his bowel was gushed out.

    There are lots of details that we don’t know about lots of things. And there are lots of expressions that people use that you might find problems with.

    There is a difference between believing that something happened and believing that the account must be completely full of details and chronological order in order to be a historical account.

    I think by reading both passages we find that Judas received money for betraying Jesus, then later a purchase of a field was made with that money after a decision made by priests and scribes. The field that was purchased was where Judas body ripped apart after he hung himself.

    You can not accept that, or think that it’s unreasonable or not up to your standards of history or whatever. That’s fine.

    Okay, so now Bones starts with something else. And if i give my explanation of that, maybe you will come up with the next place and the next.

    But like I said. I am convinced that terrorists flew planes into the World Trade Center without Bush knowing that day that it would happen. I also believe that the Towers fell down without being demolished. Perhaps you, and definitely many other people find that unlikely, impossible, improbable and you just can’t understand it.

    Fine. I don’t understand your conclusion about 9/11 either.

    We disagree. Funny huh.

  24. But if I can’t even convince you that snake handling churches are a very rare section in the history of Christianity, or that I accept the same story about 9/11 that Bush, Clinton, Obama, the major news networks etc accept, then I probably won’t be able to explain much to you.

    This is getting tiring. Think I’ll join Steve. Have fun.

  25. Bye Q, the only advice I’d give you is don’t buy any real-estate or sign anything without a lawyer looking at it.

    Buying something yourself is very different to giving someone else money and them buying it for themselves.

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