An Eye-full Of Christian Material

Posted on by specksandplanks

Here is a VERY interesting site.

http://www.spiritlessons.com/

I wont say much because a friend of mine will be possibly be browsing some of the articles on Signposts02 and he offered me this link. He liked the sites contents. I simply want to know what you think of the website.

What are your thoughts? Do you like what you see? Does the information and books offered bless you? Wanting to know.

16 thoughts on “An Eye-full Of Christian Material”

  2. Friday, September 11, 2009
    #616. Near death visits to heaven.

    (Matt, from the church of no people, is back. You might remember his guide to writing the ultimate Stuff Christians Like comment. You might have used his helpful tips to create a great Christian dating profile. Both of those were hilarious and today’s post is no different. In it, he shares some tips on heaven. Enjoy.)

    Stuff Christians Like: Near Death Visits to Heaven

    We love to talk about heaven, but what do we know about it? The Bible doesn’t say, but adults love to make Sunday School lessons out of it. Lots of people these days write books about seeing heaven during their near death experience. The stories are usually similar – white light, robes, clouds, Thomas Kincaid, Celine Dion on the radio.

    Christians love stories about visits to heaven, but they seem like a pretty lame idea of the place, especially if it’s supposed to be a reward. I needed a firsthand look at heaven, before I had to go there forever…So I decided send my kid brother to scope out the place. It makes a great day trip for adults too, especially if you’re on a tight vacation budget.

    Now, I’ve compiled the first definitive heavenly field guide, based on scientific evidence and my kid brother’s first hand visit. It will help you get the most from your visit to heaven, and be better prepared to write a best-selling book when you return.

    A Day Trip to Heaven
    How do I plan a visit to heaven?It doesn’t take much planning. Some people think they need to have a heart attack and a hospital with a doctor. But, if you had that kind of money, you’d be taking a real vacation on a yacht or something. All you have to do is stand up really straight with your knees locked tight and hold your breath as long as you can. You should stand on your bed and not by the TV, or where your mom can see you.* Just make sure you’re really really born-again right before you go, so you get sent to the right place.

    *The AMA considers locking your knees and holding your breath a really stupid thing to do for any reason, including visiting heaven or avoiding eating vegetables.

    What does heaven look like?A lot of super-nerds like to think of heaven as Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica; some nerdy alternate dimension complete with spaceships and lasers and hot, nerdy aliens. Well, it’s not like that at all, and it offends heaven that you would have such a lame fantasy.

    It’s more like Lord of the Rings and World of Warcraft. Schweet…

    How will I feel in heaven?
    It’s awesome. Think of some time you were completely psyched on earth, like the first time you rocked out to Ace of Base or went to a boy/girl party. It’s like that feeling. In fact, after lunch in heaven – there’s no such thing as nap time. What do you think it is, a “place of rest?” Instead, they have ‘pump-up’ time, when everyone runs around and listens to House of Pain, just so no one forgets how awesome heaven is.

    I was always told that heaven is our greatest wishes, times infinity. So if you plan on going to heaven soon, you should prepare by wishing for a bunch of really awesome stuff, like a pet falcon or a new bike, or moon shoes. If you wish for something lame like new socks, you’ll get new socks…times infinity. So it’s probably a really bad idea to wish for a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris.

    What’s the weather like?
    Heaven is always a pleasant 74 degrees with a 30% chance of rain. It never rains, but there’s always a chance, a slight chance. That’s great, except Jesus won’t let you spend your whole day in the heavenly mansion. He’s always pushing people out the door for some fresh air and exercise so he can mop the floors. You’ll still need a jacket when you go to church.

    Heaven is also free of all natural laws we are used to on earth. Of course, you won’t be able to just tell there’s no natural laws. So go ahead and do a simple test on an everyday natural law, one that you use all the time on earth. Any natural law will do. Try out the second law of thermodynamics and see what happens…did you try it? Pretty sweet, huh?

    What is there to do in heaven?
    The rumpus room has a lot of stuff. Some kid wished for a Wii right before showing up, so that pretty much worked out for everyone. The dollar theater was playing Harry Potter, so you won’t get bored.

    The angels are always partying for all the souls on earth responding to altar calls. Contrary to popular belief, the angels do dance. However, there are threats of shutting this down, along with the mixed bathing, since Jesus has to spend so much time making sure the angels are dancing far enough apart for him to wedge his body between them. With all that, he barely has any time to make the grape juice.

    Plus, Jesus is going to have to leave sometime, because he’s got to get back to Earth right before Steve and Julie Garrett of Akron, Ohio consummate their marriage.

    You still have to go to church, but it’s way different. Even though everyone in heaven is there, it’s like the Sunday no one shows up. Some guy came on stage with an eagle, and when they passed the offering plates, people weren’t putting money in. They were taking handfuls of Skittles out. They did still have an altar call. Pastor Brother Bill kept saying, “I see that hand, thank you,” but I didn’t see anyone raising their hands.

    Sometimes, Jesus will ask you to recite a Bible verse, but if you just quote Ben Franklin, he’ll usually accept it.

    Who is in heaven?
    A bunch of people. I saw my Grandma, my pet dogs, some dude named Morrie, the Blue Man, the Captain, Ruby, Marguerito, and Tala. I sure missed them.
    You can meet most people in heaven through Twitter. Jesus is really into it. He’s following all 8,000 heavenly Tweet-souls and he’s already got, like, 50 followers in return. But he pretty much uses it to give shout-outs to himself.

    Heaven has a bunch of other stuff you’ll like, and it can pretty much be summed up here.

    There you go. If you want your kids to be good, make sure they know the truth about heaven. Anyone else who has been to heaven can share their stories too!

  4. I thought it was a spoof.

    Then as I went down th web-site I started recognising names. On the one hand … everyone seems to have been taken by Jesus into heaven multiple times and into hell multiple times so that they could then write a book and make a truck load of cash …

    Oh, and they like sexual predator Bob Jones, who asked young women to get naked in his presence so that he could ‘prophesy’ over them.

    There has been no repentence about that … it was simply brushed under the carpet, until the heat died down and then he was back in business.

    That was a truly awful web-site filled with ads for people to make outlandish claims in order to sell books.

    Really depressing … isn’t it?

  5. Bull, did you read the rebuke by the “preachtoday” guys? I sent them the link to review the C3 service and they were spot-on in their critique.

  6. Well! There are a huge variety of books etc on that site.

    I’d say there could be some good stuff there because the variety of authors is endless, and it could be entertaining, but buyer beware. Everything I’ve got to say about the site is fairly obvious.

    Some new stuff I haven’t come across before in the top testimony – believer’s fighing dragons and vampires. Plus interceding at midnight might ‘feel’ more spiritual, but really its superstitious to think that our prayers are more powerful at a particular time than another – a bit like ‘magic’.

    I wouldn’t bother with the site myself. If God really wants a person to hear from Him, God will make sure they get the message. Just be led by the Spirit, and we’ll be wherever it is in this life we are individually best meant to be. No need to go chasing anything.

    Plus, the site uses fonts that flash on and off, and underlines words. That’s just bad taste. 🙂

  7. Specks, I would direst your friend to read the critique given by “Preachtoday” – all these sites are simply feeding the “itching ears” that the Bible speaks about.

  9. Yes, that minimovie on hell went around cccof at one time. But it doesn’t mean much to me who was told about hell on a weekly basis at Catholic school. Has anyone seen it?

    Hell can be on earth too so, anyways.

  10. I thought it was a good link too, Teddy.

    I didn’t see the movie, but the review of it was presented well, and remained kind towards the purveyor of the vision, despite the stance that the vision was not from God. It made convincing points using scripture.

    Looks like a good counter site to the stuff in the site posted about at the top.

    There are too many people pushing all kinds of visions these days. If someone in your circle of believers has a vision, and its scriptural, and it relates to you in some way, then great. Particularly if confirmed by other believers. But our relationship with Jesus is personal, and He will speak to us about what He wants us to know if it is important and we are abiding in Him. Visions can be interesting, but I hope no one is directed solely by someone else’s vision.

  11. The pastors on Preachtoday have been very helpful in our journey out of C3. Over the past 2 years I’ve been in correspondence with them on various issues.

    They have challenged us to really consider the sovereignity of God and to take His word seriously especially in its historic application and context.

    It was interesting being challenged in the early months but well worth the occasional angst!

  12. Why can’t people just test things first? GAGH!
    Here are a few ways to test the spirits:

    1. Have them pledge allegiance to Jesus Christ our Lord.
    2. Bow in your spirit-man/heart to Jesus as Lord or Father and see if spirit/’Jesus’ directs You to the Father
    3. Ask the Spirit in you to reveal to you if this is ‘Jesus’.
    4. Ask Jesus questions like ‘Where in Your word does…’ to see if this is your personal Saviour.

    It’s important to note that when Jesus was here on earth, it WAS HIS MISSION to reconcile man to His Father. In a vision I got last week, Jesus gave a word specifically to someone which I shared before the congregation as it was so appropriate to what His ministry to Christian’s is. He said:

    “Let me teach you to have a relationship with the Father so that you may know the power and authority you live in.”

    That’s a big difference to these Jesus’ that are revealing to people heaven and hell. I believe Ian McCormack’s testimony to be genuine, but if the Jesus in these visions is not ministering to us and directing us to the ‘Father In Heaven’, what is His purpose.

    I have always found Jesus to be ministering before the Father on behalf of us and to us through His Spirit. Why is He suddenly a tour guide of heaven and hell in some of these testimonies?

    If these testimonies are somewhat true, why didn’t he just take all of Israel to hell and then heaven so that they could carry zeal to preach to the nations?

  13. Bill Weise was sincere about his experience too. I’ve heard Ian McCormack’s testimony at least three times – I wonder what Preachtoday would make of it. I would put it the same category as Weise.

  16. “Bill Weise was sincere about his experience too.” Yeah. But I think he was sincerely deceived. He didn’t test.

    But he knows the gospel. He preached salvation at ccc when he was there. I wasn’t there. But my friends who are zealous to here the gospel preached at ccc were so excited to here Weise preach it!

    I have come to believe with McCormack, that his testimony is real. All he saw was darkness in hell and nothing that made you question you saw. It was truly… sheol!

    All he saw in heaven was Jesus before him. Their was no tour. Jesus however did point him to see that a future glorified creation that mankind will rejoice in. That’s biblical. But it was in heaven he just explained the overpowering light and love of Christ. It was all about him and not angels, gemstones, storehouses and weird things like that.

    And he had a genuine conversion experience. He actually met the Lord as he was dying!

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